How to Celebrate Gratimus

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Decorating & Preparing

  • Hang up some festive twinkly lights or garlands inside and/or outside.
  • Get some candles (flameless is just fine)
  • Make or find your Gratimus Gratitude Jar/Box and cut up or get slips of paper for it.
  • Print or write out the Gratimus Code.
  • Schedule any holiday volunteer commitments that require reservations.
  • Schedule holiday get-togethers with friends and/or family.
  • Plan gifts (or gift trip) for Gift Day

Gratimus Feast Day (Saturday evening after Thanksgiving)

Before the meal begins, everyone who is participating writes down something or someone they are grateful for on a slip of paper. We light our candles (or turn on flameless candles) and repeat the Gratimus Code together. Then we put those first slips of paper into the Gratitude Jar. We wish each other a "Happy Gratimus!" and then tuck into our feast. The holiday has officially begun!

Wait, what’s the meal? Who cares! It could be leftovers, it could be take-out, it could be PB&J, it could be breakfast for dinner with an extra helping of dessert or dinner at a rest stop along Route 40 – however you feast is fine! But it's not alone: dine with your distant cousin via Zoom, an old friend at your favorite place in town, or with your kids and your nana and your neighbor at your kitchen table.

What else?

  • Hang the Gratimus Code somewhere visible throughout the holiday (e.g. the fridge). Talk it over with any little ones you may have to make sure they understand it and the ways in which we do our best to follow this code.
  • Any visitors you have over for a meal at any point during Gratimus are welcome to participate in the Gratitude Jar if they want
  • Every day: contribute to your Gratitude Jar. Find ways big and small to show up more than usual for friends, family and community.
  • Every week:  contribute to your Community with a planned activity.

Gift Day

If you aren’t celebrating another holiday that includes formal gift-giving (e.g. Hanukkah or Christmas), you may choose to share gifts mid-way through Gratimus. This is typically on the second weekend. It's intentional that this isn't on Feast Day or the Solstice Celebration.

We absolutely see the value in gift-giving, and in surprising and delighting those you love - as well as giving yourself some love, too! Gratimus gifts aim to be practical and promote growth and connection; they are often experiential. Maybe it is a book on a topic your kid loves, or a woodworking class your partner was excited about, or signing up for an local event with a friend. (Bonus points if you can support local businesses with your gifts; we like Myti in our state!) Typically there is only one gift or several small gift items exchanged on Gift Day over a midday meal. Some may choose a family "Gift Trip" or experience in lieu of individual gift-giving, either for that weekend or something everyone can look forward to and plan together in the weeks or months ahead. Find what feels right for your family, but we do recommend establishing in advance parameters on gifts if you think this may become a point of contention or competition.

Solstice Celebration

The Winter Solstice sunset is the closing celebration of Gratimus. We have been fortunate in years past to be able to gather at an Earth Clock in Vermont to observe the sun as it sets on the shortest day of the year. Others might stream the Solstice at Stonehenge or gather together to watch the sunset at a favorite spot.

The solstice occurs relatively early in the evening, so we have our celebratory meal afterwards. And just like the opening feast, this is a flexible tradition and we encourage you to make it your own: a potluck with friends or family, a night out at your favorite restaurant, whatever works. Before the meal, everyone lights or turns on a candle and takes a turn talking about their favorite part of Gratimus this year. We put our last slip of paper into the Gratimus Jar, but this time we also include what we're looking forward to in the year to come. You are welcome to share this with your Gratimus group if you would like. We let our candles burn out or turn them off once the last guest has left.

Wrapping Up

  • Take down any decorations and put away items for next year (Gratimus Code, Jar, lights, candles, etc)
  • The slips of paper from the Gratimus Jar can be left in the jar for the coming year, or taken out and used to make a yearly collage, or you can sprinkle them over a fire at the Solstice celebration.